06012013 Big step forward

This is for my own documentation of my journey to being a first time mother, I remember before I use to talk about my visions when I sleep. Vision about child. A vivid dream of a child, clasping my own hands calling me Mommy. Long ago I found it bazaar to have such dream with no explanation why and where that has come from I was only 15 when I first had her visit me in my dreams. Her appearance was so clear and distinct that I can remember exactly how she looks like. It one day had finally made its permanent stay in my mind. On early 2008, another set of dream came visiting me every night. A guy came to me, he was faceless, I only remember him treating me the way I never thought about. Back then I had a boyfriend but it was weird to think that despite the fact that I was currently committed to someone at the end of the day the moment I close my eyes to sleep I see someone else. It was the same thing the actions were distinct and precise. Those dreams continuously came and made me remember every detail. One day on the month of November 2010 I met someone. Months before that the dream I had about a guy was so consistent,  it came almost every night and it was no ordinary visit, in my dream we were practically mating then it follows to seeing the child again, it was telling me a story. November 27,2010 I officially gave my yes  to Frank. The dream about the guy finally stopped. We spent a lot of time together we had countless memories, one day it made me realize that I was actually with the guy I was dreaming of and I meant it literally. What made me think so? I saw the actual scene I once saw in the dream it the picture was clear to me, I was meant to meet him.

 

Two years with him and counting, I told him the story about the child. It was a girl, skin was white as mine was, eyes are pretty, she had this cute smile and way of calling me out. Her voice was loud enough for me to always remember her. May 23,2013 , I came to check on my calendar, I was late. No period which I was initially supposed to have  since the 15th of  the month then I noticed many things about my body was changing so I thought maybe I was just a late bloomer at the age of 24. I recall three weeks ago I had another visit in my dream finally I heard her name I called her Nicole. It never dared to cross my  mind of the possibility. It was just then on the 28th of May when I realized that I could be pregnant.

 

06012013 : Revelation day

 

Early morning at around 6:30am right after work I headed straight home, I dropped by a drugstore to grab me pregnancy test kit. Back at home finally all set to take  the test, while waiting for the results I was really nervous then there it was slowly it turned clear. Yes it was true after all, with proof I am pregnant. It took me a while to understand what was going on and the situation was not really sinking in. The strip was kept safely away from everyone’s eye. First thing that came up in my mind? I can’t tell the news right away because my parents are going to be nuts about it. Yes I know I’m 24 and turning 25 in a month or so but it’s totally different . I am to meet Frank in a couple of hours. No sleep, no actual rest was happening at the moment, my mind was totally racing around random thoughts and future endeavours.

 

2:00 pm: At Frank’s place

 

We talked about the whole thing and still at that moment nothing was sinking in.  We decided to deal with things ourselves first, we decided not to tell both parties in the meantime and find the right moment to tell when were both ready to hear what they have to say. I didn’t want stress and I wanted to cherish the fact that I am finally having my baby, –Nicole.

I spent the whole with him and for crying out loud he witnessed me craving for food every two hours or so, I have been like this the whole month and I thought it was just because of the vitamins it was just then I came to patching things up my body was actually trying to store enough energy for me because I was already carrying a little me in my tummy. The whole day tired me out so when I came home I went straight to bed. It’s totally official I’m pregnant more or less a month now. I’m excited, happy and nervous at the same time and I am looking forward to see what’s going to happen next. What’s my next move? It’s preparation for the baby and me. I’m glad Frank is happy about the fact that we are having our first child and we are well aware that this is a big step in our relationship and the challenge is how will our parents take  the news. I’m hoping for the best…

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2 thoughts on “06012013 Big step forward

  1. Pingback: big step forward cont. | wanderlust

  2. Pingback: Starting it right | wanderlust

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