06022013 : Sharing the news
Drafted a list of few people to whom I share the news with. I picked out those I know can keep my secret and respect the choice I made. I informed most of my closest friends and gave them the story, most of them are worried about me and was urging me to tell my parents right away but I insisted on not. The idea has mixed emotions involved, some were not happy others were excited. Bottom line ? Lots of expectations are in the way. Then comes disappointment.
06042013 : Mommy finds out
She read my blog, got the confirmation here. I initially thought she would ask me and talk to me but she did not, but the moment I arrived home I already felt the urging question in her head yet she remained as though unshaken by the fact that her daughter is already carrying something with her. At the moment we have just about 6 days left from her flight to Davao and yet I heard nothing from her, what I noticed though is that she kept this kind of stare the pierces you right through so of course the guilt of remaining my silent ground in excruciating on my part. I want to talk to her but I don’t know where to start. The moment I try to approach her I space out. Came Monday, she left while I was asleep.
06102013 : Check up
That morning a couple of hours after Mommy left I had to get up early and get ready to have my trans-vaginal ultrasound.
So there we were me and my partner at the clinic waiting for my turn. The nurse called my name and finally it was my turn. What I found out after the ultrasound was that I was exactly 8 weeks and 4 days pregnant, I saw my baby, heartbeat rate is normal except for one tiny problem, I was informed that I had internal bleeding and that I needed to have that checked with my OB but other than that the baby is fine. That moment of me seeing that tiny little one made me cry, I was so happy it was overwhelming I was totally grateful for the blessing. I cherished that moment for the first time in my life I felt completely happy and content. It was memorable.
06112013 : The confrontation
I was not able to go to work that day because I was not feeling well, I got a phone call – it was mommy, at first she asked me how I was told her I was fine then right then and there she blurted out “ I know what your problem is.” Then there it was she had it confirmed with me on the phone. She wasn’t happy at all and I can’t blame her she was totally disappointed she expected too much from me, I tried to reason out and make her realize that I’m 24 and that I am happy of what happened but I know she won’t understand. She doesn’t approve of my child’s father neither does she approve of my pregnancy. So while she was on the other end of that line I just allowed her to vent and remained silent till she dropped the call which of course for me I ended up just crying and crying. Maybe in time she’ll understand.
- 06012013 Big step forward (sakitomo27.wordpress.com)