How am I to begin my life from the time it was ended by him? I start from scraps and bits of pieces that I should pick up and sew myself back together. Did I fall for the wrong person? perhaps. Or maybe time had to teach me a lesson. Who can ever tell what the purpose is. At this very moment all I know is that I am sick of crying this pain out. I have to move on. This is not just for me but also for my child. The painful part though is that I can’t shake things off my shoulder. Do I really need to disappear? Take her with me and be gone? I am a strong person. I have thought myself to be one. This situation should have not been this hard. All I know is that this would cuts even deeper everyday. I am causing my own sorrow when I could have just let go. Must I be afraid? possibly from judging eyes? It scares me I think. I am lost, out of focus, I am confused. Us together is tragedy and I can’t even see the light. The slightest hope of fixing us is already long gone and I think the only reason why I am holding on is because of the idea that I have given 4 years of time life and effort to him. Deep inside, I have hopes of finding him in a better situation. But I guess as time rolls on it all seems like falls hope and nonsense longing. I don’t want to wait in vain.